I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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