fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
