It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
