maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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