i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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