I like my sex mixed with concussions.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize