Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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