I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I need to stop coming to work sober
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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