The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
