Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
