we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
