Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
