Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
