Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
