It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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