So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You ruined the universe
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
