Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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