i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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