who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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