maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
