I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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