We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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