Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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