roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
