i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
