All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
