I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
