I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
