There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
