I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
