But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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