Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We were destined to go to rehab together
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i think my cat just said my name.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
