the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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