wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize