Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
