pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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