Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
