He is such a slut. More and more my type.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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