we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
