I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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