I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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