If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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