Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
