oh god the rape fog is back!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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