He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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