Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
