for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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