WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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