i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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