I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
