I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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