ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
