im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
