My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize