The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
