just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
