He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
