Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
