I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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