Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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