Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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