Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
